Poteen Country: Connemara, County Galway.
Let grasses grow and waters flow
In their free and easy way
But give me enough of the
fine ould stuff
That's made near Galway Bay
Oh, policemen all, from Donegal
Sligo and Leitrim too
We'll give them the slip
And we'll take
a sip
Of the real ould mountain dew
The Mountain Dew, traditional
Poteen is an illegal Irish spirit made in the mountains and bogs. It's illegal, so you can’t
get it in a liquor store. No - you have to go to a Police Station. I kid you not. Ireland with its many inaccessible
and hidden places is ideal for Poteen-making far from the prying noses of the Gardai (Police) who are always on the lookout for an
illegal still. In Ireland we have sniffer Gardai, rather than sniffer dogs, and they attend a special academy where they receive a
comprehensive education in the art of sniffing out poteen. The motto of the academy is, “Come in, and educate your nose,” and
this school produces some of the smartest noses in Ireland. The next time you meet a Garda, or a Ban Garda (female Police),
just check them out. If they have big, flaring, quivering nostrils, that’s a sniffer Garda.
Poteen is known by many
names; The Mountain Dew, The Craythur, Moonshine, The Hard Stuff, Connemara Concussion etc, but my favourite is, The Devil’s
Buttermilk. It can be good or it can be bad, and it can even be lethal.
Years ago in Limerick I asked a friend if
he could get me some Poteen. He told me to hop into the car and we drove into the town and parked at the rear of this grey granite
building. It looked like a government office or something. My friend went into the building and about ten minutes later
he came out with a brown paper bag which he told me to hide in the trunk of the car. A few days later in Dublin I opened the
paper bag and there were two bottles of poteen, one was labelled, “Exhibit A” and the other “Exhibit B.”
So I called my
friend and asked him, “What was that place where we got the Poteen?” He said, “Garda Headquarters. They only keep the
best!”
